Failure

Early Morning Yoga

My flesh and my heart may fail,  but God is the strength of my

heart and my portion forever."

 Psalm 73:26

One of the things that has stopped me in my tracks my whole life is the fear of failure. Anyone get what I'm saying? When I think about being a teacher, my first thought is "what if I fail my students?!" It's a joy killing thought that cements my feet so I can't even take another step.

This week I failed my students.

I'm still learning the ends and out of Canaan. I'm learning how give the curriculum well , how to discipline well, and how to prepare the kids well. It's been difficult by myself in the classroom and I have let a lot of things slip through the cracks.

As I left the school a couple hours later than it let out, I walked into my home and started to cry. I had failed my students by letting them fail. I had missed a step that could have secured some of their confidence and helped them past a test. I grabbed my bible and looked up failure. Psalm 73:26 is the first one I came to.

Then God placed " But God, being rich in mercy because of the great love in which He loved us..." (Ephesians 2:4-10).

The one promise I can be sure to keep in my life is that I will fail. I will fail my family, my friends, these kids and even myself. I will not be as loving, as compassionate, as humble, as *insert here* as God calls me to be.

But. God.

He will never fail us. It's not apart of his character. He is perfectly sufficient in my failure.

It reminds me of what one of my life mentors told me while she was suffering with cancer. "Don't let the fear of something keep you from the joy that God has in it." Do not stop because of failure because you will stop truly living.  It's unavoidable in this life.

"But God, being rich in mercy.. made us alive in Christ...and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God... "